20140909

Sirs:

Hey, remember all those models we were using all the way back in the 90s? You know, the ones of which we were so sure that we made all sorts of cocksure predictions and requested the creation of a totalitarian world government in everyone's best interests?

Well, those models were no good. Bad predictions. Really pretty sorry about that.

But now we have new models; much, much better models. And boy, are they good. We could've predicted the complete lack of warming over the last 15 years.

So, anyway, we're back with new models and new predictions. And we're much smarter than before. So, we'd like to resume that world government thing where we left off...

No honest,
Al Gore

20140907

Keepers of the heteronormative patriarchy

Anybody can be merely gay, but you need a theory — an ideology, a political philosophy — in order to have the kind of jargon that interprets your gayness in the context of oppression and social justice.

Oh, yeah. I went there. Because I'm special.

Rachel Maddow

20140902

Sirs:

Multiculturalism is the philosophy that says the grooming, trafficking and mass rape of underage white girls by Muslim gangs is not as bad as being thought Islamophobic.

Well, duh.

Allahu Akbar, kuffars,
Sheik Yerbouti

20140901

Hey,

Sitting around the refugee center the other day, we got to discussing food here. It's awful. It's not just the daily pasta with tomato sauce and eggs and bread (boring!), but there's no grubs and no caterpillars either. Some of us came here after a dangerous sea crossing up to four months ago. There's been plenty of time for the staff here to ask around and create a grocery list of real food.

So, a bunch of us went to complain and we got shot down. No way, the staff said. Well, as you can imagine, that didn't go over well so we started a protest about the inhumane living conditions. We were forced to block the street and start slashing tires.

These Italians must have the worst cuisine in the world. We're really looking forward to getting to the Netherlands or England, where the cuisine is much better.

Sam from Gambia